going crazy!

This past week some excitement has entered my life, but I don't want to give too  much away and jinx it! haha But I am SUPER excited and i cant stand the anticipation of it all! I have never done well with surprises and since most of life is surprising it just makes everything that much harder! haha when i was little i used to open all my presents a week early and then hide them in my closet. ofcorse i always go into so much trouble with those sorts of things. Really that is how i am in my life everyday. everything would be so much more simple if i knew where the heck i was going! i just feel like im walking around in the dark and when i think i have found something  i have been looking for i get wayyyyy to excited. so tonight, i will take a very long drive and just listen to music and enjoy being alone.

a person is a person, no matter how small.

Yesterday at work there were many many grumpy Gertrudes that came into the cafe where I work, but there were two imparticular that really made an impression on me. The first was a lady that comes in every single day. she looks very much like this lady from harry potter...

 and there is really no one that looks like her friend. Anyway, she is very rude and every time I am done taking her order I feel quite drained. Later in the day I had a few moments to myself and I thought what could possibly make someone so mean to people who they see everyday. Then I realized maybe she is they way she is because that's just the way she was raised. Maybe, her parents looked down on those that don't do very glamorous jobs. What a sad life that would be. Never being able to see anyone else's view but only your own and always thinking everyone else that is not exactly like you is crazy because your stuck in only seeing life one way. I know that would make me pretty grumpy too. So when this lady and her friend come into where I work, I will no longer look at them as stuck up, but simply old ladies stuck inside the cage of their minds. And no longer let their glares bother me.

it has been a long time man!

With the holidays I have been super busy butt here are some pics from whats gone on lately.

It snowed on Christmas =] the last time it snowed like this I was three! Then me and my frannd tina went to             little rosies. it was awesome.
for new years I spent the night at a friend from high school's house. It makes me really sad how stupid I was in high school and how I thought people hated me when they didn't. I really wish I had spent more time with this girl than I did, but it's okay no regrets better now than ever right???

In other news my grandfather died last Wednesday. He was 96 years old and taught me one important thing I do not ever wanna get old. I mean I do just not to the point I cant take a dump by myself ya know? I think once your at the point you can't go outside or poop it is unfair to be stuck here suffering remembering how you used to be able to wipe yourself. word??
ANYWAY.  he had a really good life. he lived the american dream. was poor got through the depression served in the navy ,worked hard, married and that marriage lasted 60 years! got two degrees and then raised a family of four crazy girls...i mean maybe the four crazy girls isnt part of the american dream but thats okay!

I never really talked to him but I know that if I was in trouble he would have bailed me out....or at least that's what i tell myself to feel better about the whole thing. haha oh well this has been a good time lately and i'm recharged ready to get back to living!! yeah man.

The not so happy holidays

For various reasons i dis-like the general thanksgiving - valentines day holidays. for various reasons, and generally the stress sends me into multiple panic attacks (which are quite funny after the fact). This past week has been no exception. All week multiple imbarassing, hurtful, and just plain annoying things have happened and when my mom asked what was wrong i burst into a terrible crying fit. For the next few days i attempted to take some advice from the good o'le sound of music and think of my favorite things.

• retro clothes
• music from the 60s and 70s
• Lavern and Shirley
• fuzzy boots
• chi tea
• basically anything covered in butter

Then last night God smiled upon my thoughts and i remembered my one true love who never lets me down!

oh yes an all american favorite! MCDONAL'S !!

not only did this wonderful wonderful man have a farm and a really great song written about him but he also makes some good cheese burgers ;). So if anyone else who is reading this is having a terrible horrible very bad day then go out and get a burger fries and a drink! 

oh no money!!

As a collage student i don't ever really have a lot of money. however when i do get paid for what little i do work then i tend  to want to spend my money on clothes or buying frozen yogurt everyday! it really is terribly irresponsible of me. Also this late summer/fall i made a lot of very bad money choices and now with most of america i am in debt. so little by little i dig myself out of the owing money hole while still trying to wear super cute clothes and take care of my froyo fetish. haha does anyone else out there have these sorts of addictions???

*jendav

Never ever alone!

So a few days ago was thanksgiving! as i said in my previous post i don't go visit my extended family anymore because they are crazy. So, i was just sitting at home and about mid day i had started to feel sorry for myself a little bit. Normally it wouldn't bother me so much but as i was making my way to wal-mart (the only store that was open) seeing all the cars in the neighbors drive ways really made me miss my mom dad and sister. But the more i thought about it i began to realize that i am not the only one alone on thanksgiving..and the holiday is not about me being with people (even though that is nice). it is about me taking time to realize how much i have to be thankful for and to stop being so whinny!! haha not really...but if you really think about how much the settlers put into trying to form america...it really makes you thankful!

Not does the past make me thankful, but the future as well! i have much hope that within the next three years i will meet the guy i am supposed to marry and start a pretty swell family of my own. =) And the the hope of meeting someone who will be with me every holiday, and who will dance around the house with me when no one else is home, and who will love me for just being weird. That hope is what i am thankful for and what i foucus on.

p.s.
when i do meet that fellow i have been dreaming of  this is pretty much what it will be like ;
http://vimeo.com/9078364

Please pass the butter??

Well here it is..Thanksgiving. The day when family and friends get together to fight over a delicious meal. =] Actually last Thanksgiving was awesome...this year it is sorta lonely. I stopped going to Memphis Tennessee to see my extended family because they are crazy. Generally when I tell people this they say their family is crazy as well. And at this point in the conversation I simply laugh. Maybe I am biased but I really must think that my family is slightly crazier than others.

To prove my point let me give this wonderful example and fond memory from my childhood.

Grandmother: let's eat some mac and cheese for lunch
Me: umm no I think I am just going to eat these chips and drink this coke
Grandmother: well your just being picky. you need to eat real food.
me: well your food is old
My mom: JENNIFER! that's rude!
Me: no...it's the truth.

My grandmother proceeds to make the mac and cheese. My Mother and sister ate it.

My mom: hm that mac and cheese did taste sorta funny....
30 min later
mom and sister are both sick, mom goes and checks how old the contents of the mac and cheese are....the butter my grandmother used was 9 YEARS OLD.
i mean...who has anything in their fridge for 9YEARS?!?!?!?!
needless to say..i won that battle. =p